You Won't Relent

I got an e-mail from my career rehab counselor this morning. It looks like my financial aid might be taken away for school. I know this is my fault. A few months ago I was hardly going to school, and now because of that, even missing one day will put me in hot water. That, and I've never been all that academic. I'm behind where I'm suppose to be. I make the excuse that my teachers don't teach whatsoever. Which is true, but it's more then that. I'm just not into computers as much as I thought I was. Which is not a bad thing. A lot of people think they're interested in a subject until they really get into it. I want to finish what I've started for once though. I feel as though I do nothing but let people down. Well, not people so much as my parents. My father's opinion of me has always been a huge thing to me. And I constantly feel like I let him down. This thought process hurts him just as much as it hurts me. If not more. I just want to make him proud of me. I want to make me proud of me. I guess that's the first step. I know what God has created me to be, and what He says I am. I keep trying to do that. I need to get to the point of being that though. And I think I am. There are just factors that need to be implemented in my life to instill that discipline. A big thing I need first is some mentorship and accountability in my life. I have direction, I think. I just need to know how to go about it. I'm in a good place. Just a bit of a confusing place.